tepidboy

Weather Wuss

2006-07-04T16:36:00.000-05:00

I like to drive. I do it a lot.

Last night I was driving home, and drove through a downpour. No problem, I can drive in those, I just need to be a little more careful and slow down a bit.

Then the heat lightning started.

So I was like: OK, no problem, I can still see the reflectors in the median... I know where I am on the road. *Titanic blast of lightning* OK, now my night vision is shot and I can't see doodly. About the time my vision re-acclimated, you guessed it, Ka-Boom!

For the first time ever, I actually pulled over to the side of the road and let the storm pass...

Not a Solution

2006-06-20T18:21:00.000-05:00

Seeing as I'm surrounded by corn, I can't help but notice the controversy cropping up (no pun intended) concerning corn-based ethanol as a fuel source.

After having done a couple hours research on the internet, it seems clear that no one can agree on the methodology of determining whether the production of ethanol is an energy net profit or loss. There is much debate over exactly what factors should and should not be allowed in the calculations. According to the variety of sources I saw, the process may yield anywhere from a 50% energy gain to about a 50% energy loss, depending on your method of accounting.

There's one thing that *isnt* a matter of debate though:

If every car in the US suddenly began using ethanol instead of gasoline, we would need to use 97% of the surface area of the United States to grow enough corn for it to be a "sustainable resource".

I don't think that'd leave enough room left over for the roads, y'know?

Pointed Recommendation

2006-06-11T15:23:00.000-05:00

If you've not seen it, I highly reccomend the recent Woody Allen movie "Match Point".

While it was definitely written and directed by Mr. Allen, it is *not* a... well... "Woody Allen Movie".

I only laughed once, at the very end, when I "got it." I don't want to say too much, but one of the characters warns another about the consequences of his decisions; you see the consequences taking shape, but then it turns around, and what you thought were going to be the consequences aren't, but that doesn't mean there are none at all... Even victory is a consequence...

Insidious

2006-06-09T10:08:00.000-05:00

Had to read this one twice:

Mad Bomber

I mean, seriously... Who is training these guys, Monty Python ?

Expensive at half the price

2006-06-07T21:51:00.000-05:00

They say that you can't put a price tag on freedom.

Apparently, they are wrong... Congress just approved another 50 billion dollars for the overseas military efforts in Afghanistan and Iraq, and the total price tag is expected to be half a trillion dollars by year's end.

Sure hope it was a bargain...

Release Papers

2006-06-06T22:48:00.000-05:00

I got a letter yesterday from my last girlfriend. Bit of a surprise, as she'd made it clear years ago that she had no desire to have any contact with me whatsoever .

I finally got all the answers that I needed, and I realize now that I’d been harboring a fair amount of resentment myself, mostly due to the fact that I didn’t really know what was going on towards the end.

Now I know what was really going on, unconditional absolution has been granted to all involved parties, and I feel like a mighty weight that I didn’t even know existed has been lifted from my heart.

Woo Hoo !

Vendetta

2006-03-19T08:08:00.000-06:00

Saw V for Vendetta last night, and I recommend it heartily.

Having read the graphic novel, I was curious as to whether the film would do well or not in this era, because the protagonist is a classical terrorist.

However, the Wachowski Brothers managed to invoke what I like to call the “Indiana Jones Rule”:

It’s OK to be a terrorist if you’re surrounded by Nazis.

I also think that it’s curious indeed that, despite the graphic novel having been written twenty years ago, that the themes expressed therein are ones facing us today in our American society. Some are exaggerated, and some are not.

I don’t want to say too much about the film, but after seeing it, I couldn’t help but recall one of my favorite poems by the rabble-rousing poet Yehuda Amichai:

We are all children of Abraham.
But also the grandchildren of Terah, Abraham's father.
And maybe it's high time the grandchildren
Did unto their father as he did unto his
When he shattered his idols and images, his religion, his faith.
That too would be the beginning of a new religion.

A Titanic Passion for Kong…

2006-03-18T20:06:00.000-06:00

They say that sometimes the destination is less important than the journey itself.

So, how about in movies?

There are a lot of movies that seem to do rather well at the box office that are either remakes or are based on classic stories that most of us know (King Kong, Passion of the Christ, Titanic ). The point is: We all know the endings before we set foot in the theater. The boat sinks, the monkey gets a fatal case of concrete poisoning, and one guy gets nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be to be nice to each other for a change... Granted, I know that there are certain stories that resonate within humanity, but still, if the movie is doing well, then mustn’t it be the *telling* of the story that makes this particular iteration “good”?

There are some movies with excellent themes or premises that just don’t get the attention they deserve due to bad storytelling. Everyone I know has a favorite book which has gotten the proverbial shaft when someone made it into a movie.

Also, some movies have very simple stories, but end up being rather good films. The simple theme of keeping hope alive is the crux of Stephen King’s novella “Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption”, the movie version of which is regarded by many as one of the best movies ever made.

So the question is, if you can only have one of these elements in a movie, which is more important: A rich and full tale, or a masterful telling?

Just Like Starting Over

2006-03-18T19:14:00.000-06:00

My apologies to anyone who might still be out there who has been disappointed by the lack of postings. I hate to tell you this, but I wasn't doing it for you, exactly. Since I believe that I still retain my core audience (that is to say, me), I shall now continue...

Unbridled Pessimism

2005-10-22T02:45:00.000-05:00

It occurred to me earlier tonight (as I was listening to a Tom Petty song) that one of the reasons my last girlfriend broke up with me might well have been jealousy induced anger.

You see, she didn't like living in central Illinois. Plus she had what can only be described as a weird family situation. She really wanted to get away and literally leave it all behind (which she eventually did).

The thing here is that I could, on a moment's notice, pack up my belongings and move practically anywhere in the world, and stay. I think that the fact that I *could* do this, but chose not to really got to her because I believe that sometimes escaping was all she could think about.

In my defense, I *like* it here... My friends and family are nearby, and medium-sized town life is fine by me. I can understand the draw of the big city, and of foreign lands in general (maybe even California), but it's just not me.

In her defense, maybe she was right. I know that you can't really judge something fairly without having some perspective on it, and the word perspective implies viewing from a distance. Would I be happier living elsewhere? Can't honestly say one way or the other.

In other news:

I actually said something semi-profound the other day.

No, really!

I was recalling a situation that I was in a long time ago in which I had the opportunity to... erm... cheat on my girlfriend at the time. Though I was quite tempted, I didn't do it. The person that I was chatting with was quite surprised when I said that the person I was considering having an affair with was married. They thought that I would have said something about it at the time (knowing my thoughts on fidelity), but I said that those were *my* rules, and I'd be a fool to hold someone else to them. It was enough that my rules dictated that cheating on your girlfriend was not allowed. So were I to distill this into a pithy phrase, it'd probably go something like this:

The trick in life is to find a set of rules that you can live by that allow you to look at yourself in the mirror every morning. Just remember that those rules are *yours*, and expecting someone else to follow them is as bad as you having to follow someone else's. Just be content knowing you're doing OK by *you*...

Stumped

2005-10-12T14:12:00.000-05:00

In the category of "Yeah, that sounds about right..." :

Here's an excerpt from the news concerning the departing German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder:

In an apparent reference to Hurricane Katrina, Schroeder castigated Washington for liberal, hands-off policies that left it exposed in times of crisis. The Bush administration was widely criticised for its response to the devastating storm.

"I do not want to name any catastrophes where you can see what happens if organised state action is absent. I could name countries, but the position I still hold forbids it, but everyone knows I mean America," he said to loud applause.

Well, if any country out there is qualified to speak about the effectiveness of organized state action, i'm guessin' that'd be Germany...

Bug Off

2005-10-09T10:15:00.000-05:00

Have almost completely recovered from the flu. Thought it was going to be the 72 hour bug, but for me it was more like 120. You can tell I was going downhill from my numerous grammatical and punctuation errors in my last post (yes, i'm AR about that sort of stuff).

In other news:

If you haven't seen Serenity yet, I recommend it with no compunctions. Even if you're not into Science Fiction, the story, writing and acting overshadow the setting. If my ebullient praise isn't enough, you can now watch the first nine or so minutes of the movie online and see for yourself:

Serenity

(you have to download a plug-in, but it's kosher)

Mama said

2005-10-05T11:29:00.000-05:00

That if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

After being bombarded by yet more of controversy concerning this,

I saw this , which raised my hackles...

The final straw was this.

So here, I am...

Saying nothing at all...

Perplexing

2005-09-26T16:05:00.000-05:00

I stole this image from E's site the other day...

It fits my mood du jour.

Out Of Order

2005-09-26T15:44:00.000-05:00

Mom lent me a stack of the Dr. Kay Scarpetta mystery novels written by Patricia Cornwell. Been tearing through them at my usual pace, and enjoying them quite a bit.

Finished one the other night, and as I was still awake, I pulled the next one off the stack and started reading. The protagonist's boyfriend was dead... Murdered. I thought: This is an odd way to start the story.

It took me about 40 pages before I realized that I'd picked the wrong one off the stack!

Picking up the chronologically correct book, I discovered that the boyfriend is alive and well.

Guess I know what's gonna happen in this one.

Grr...

Analogy

2005-09-25T01:29:00.000-05:00

A friend once told me:

Trying to figure out how a woman's mind works is like trying to stuff a kitten full of marbles.

He offered no explanation, and though I'm still not entirely sure what he meant, it sure *seems* like he hit the nail on the head.

Bag Man

2005-09-24T04:49:00.000-05:00

On the kinesthetics of bagging groceries:

I drink a lot of soda.

Ok, probably too much soda. Probably a liter a day.

As a result, I find myself at the local grocery store on a weekly basis, loading up a cart with 2-liters. I usually buy six or so at a time, and they don't sit around long enough to go bad.

There are two different styles of bagging 2-liters that are used by the local baggerati:

A: Two bottles laid end to end on the bottom of the bag.

B: Two bottles standing up in the bag.

I am here to tell you that the second way is the correct way!

I discovered this because when you carry three bags at a time, the problem with the first method becomes apparent.

If the bottles are lying next to each other, then it causes the two carry straps to be pulled apart in your grip. Multiply this by three, and it's quite difficult to carry them even a few yards. they are literally pulling your hands open. Set the bottles in the bag vertically, and your fingers are not forced apart, making it easier to keep your hand closed, and hence to carry them.

Ok... it seemed more important earlier when I was carrying groceries...

Grumpy Old Man

2005-09-19T09:23:00.000-05:00

I must be getting more intolerant as I get older...

I was reading a news snippet about some fashion show that was interrupted by some PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) protesters who leapt up on the runway, waving signs that proclaimed that "Fur is Murder".

I guess what i'd like to know is this:

At what point in our social evolution did some people decide that they needed make personal decisions for everyone?

Maybe you believe that fur is murder. Some people believe that eating any sort of meat is morally wrong. A large percentage of humans worldwide believe that eating ham, or beef, or meat on a friday is also prohibited.

If that's what you believe, well, then, that's what *you* believe. Embrace your ideologies and practice them to your heart's content. But don't force your personal ideologies on me.

Some people believe that hunting animals is wrong. I'm not one of those. When I hunt, I follow two personal rules: Never use a weapon with more than one shot readied, and never kill anything you aren't going to eat. I made those rules myself, and were I to break one, i'm sure i'd feel bad. That's because they define what constitutes a ethical hunt for me. Notice I said 'for me'. You won't see me running out in the cornfields waving signs that say if you use a gun with three shells in it that you're an unethical hunter. That's their business, not mine.

So whether it's about wearing animal skins, procuring and eating dinner, procreation or lack thereof, or anything that goes on in the bedroom of two consenting adults...

Don't have the arrogance to decide that *you* need to make *my* decisions for me.

Insensitive &#@%!

2005-09-18T06:24:00.000-05:00

Allow me to apologise in advance.

Any situation in which people are killed, and/or their homes are destroyed is, indeed a lamentable situation.

Now, I shall attempt to channel the spirit of Bill Maher in some small way:

I saw an article comparing the after effects of Katrina to those of the September 11th terrorist attacks, and it pissed me off. While it is true that lives will be disrupted in both places, these are two totally different animals.

The Trade Center attack was a surprise. Granted, people who live in big cities know, deep down, that the chance of something bad happening to them as a result of living in a big city is higher than that of folks who live in the boonies. The thing that keeps them in the city is the outcome of their personal risk/benefit analysis... I'm more likely to get mugged, but not so likely that I think I should move.

As to the hurricane, well, it wasn't a surprise. Warnings were posted days in advance, and folks made their individual risk/benefit analyses. "I don't think it will hit land here, and if it does, it won't be all that bad, so i'm not leaving." That was a personal choice. In the words of Carter Burke, "It was a bad call, Ripley... A bad call."

In our information era, you have no excuse for not knowing that New York gets deadly snowstorms now and then, both the the gulf coast and southern east coast get hurricanes every year, the midwest gets dozens of tornadoes annually, and California is prone to landslides, wildfires and earthquakes. Build a house on the banks of the Mississippi, and odds are, your home will get washed away *at least* once in your lifetime.

So if you choose to live in a place where these phenomenon are commonplace, don't have the audacity to act surprised when they come to pass.

Perhaps it is me being an insensitive &#@%!, but it is quite honestly a little harder for me to feel sorry for these folks than it would be for someone who lost their homes and/or loved ones to a fire, explosion, or terrorist attack. You can't plan for those things (without totally turning your life upside-down), nor are they predictable in any meaningful way.

I'm not entirely sure that the point of this spleen-venting is, but I think it might be this:

Whether it be where to live, whom to date, or what to do this Saturday night:

Be prepared to deal with the obvious consequences of the choices you make.

Clueless

2005-09-05T12:39:00.000-05:00

Went up to Moline and had a good time at Grandpa Ed's B-Day. Much cake was consumed. His favorite is pineapple upside down cake, and there were two different kinds to choose from as well as a more traditional cake as well. Also got to see a couple relatives I hadn't seen in awhile, which is always cool.

As to the title of the post:

I was slicing up the cake(s), and Aunt Jean (who is 2 years older than I) said:

"So, anything happen with that girl who was hitting on you when you were serving cake at Joey's Birthday party?"

Me: "Say what? She wasn't hitting on me."

Jean: "Oh yes she was!"

My sister Jennifer: "She totally was."

Apparently I need my radar repaired. I've always been a bit dense in this department, but this is bordering on the ridiculous.

The Red Pill

2005-09-04T08:50:00.000-05:00

Woo hoo... after a little over a year on antibiotics, the doc finally cut me loose.

Now, the doc had me on a prescription, and for a good reason, but I've taken too many biology courses to believe that taking antibiotics all the time is a good thing. The more you use (almost) any antibiotic medicine, the less effective it becomes in the large scale. I guess for me it's the same with most medicines, as well. When I get a headache, I take a regular aspirin, 'cos for me aspirin still gets the job done. I'd rather save the ibuprofen for when I slam my hand in the car door and the like.

Plus this will ease my mind up a bit, as I was taking a pill once every three days, and there's no good way I could devise to remember that easily other than marking it on a calendar and then remembering to look at it every day. I've spent a lot of 'did I take my pill today?' hours over the last couple months.

In other news, despite the holiday traffic, and the high gasoline prices*, I'm heading up to the Quad Cities today to celebrate Grandpa Ed's 88th birtday. Supren El Jefe !

*I contacted a buddy in London to see what gas prices are like there. Doing a quick conversion, our $3.30 a gallon figures out to about 47 pence per litre. Petrol over there is currently 90p per litre. About six bucks a gallon. Quit whining.

Furious Anger

2005-08-30T12:04:00.000-05:00

Ok, perhaps that's overstating it a bit.

I am, however, at the very least a bit torqued off at the fact that I've watched my last episode of Dead Like Me. Seems a lot of the shows that I enjoy never seem to last very long...

In that vein, here's a list of shows that I really liked that didn't run nearly long enough (most of em a season or less):

Dead Like Me

Firefly

Strange Luck

Cupid

Vengeance Unlimited

The Others

Strengths

2005-08-27T23:48:00.000-05:00

So I indulged in the latest internet fad and tested my strengths .

Not too surprised to find that my defining characteristics were:

Humor and Playfulness
Fairness, Equity and Justice
Kindness and Generosity
Love of Learning, and
Bravery and Valor

(Hmm... Do I need spandex and a cape?)

The curious thing was that in the Humor and Playfulness category, I scored as high as or higher than:

100% of all web site users
100% of males
100% of members of my age category
100% of members of my occupation group
100% of members of my educational level group, and
100% of members in my Zip code

Guess I'm in the top 1% of jolly folks !

Open Mouth

2005-08-27T23:08:00.000-05:00

Nephew Joey had his first birthday party this afternoon, and a good time was had by all. Much eating of cake and ice cream, prefaced by italian beef sandwiches (I did mention that my sister married an italian guy, no?).

A bunch of mom's sibs came down for the event, which was cool because it had been quite a while since I'd seen her brother Mark's family. It was at this point that I made my verbal misstep of the day...

I hadn't seen Mikaela in about a year and a half (she's the daughter of one of my cousins), and what a difference that time had made. She'd always been a little on the heavy side as a kid, but now at age 11, was almost rail thin. I mentioned the change approvingly, and she cocked her head and replied:

"Yeah, juvenile onset diabetes has a way of doing that to you."

Just call me Andy (not in the loop) S.

Proof

2005-08-25T00:04:00.000-05:00

Friend sent me this some time ago, thought I'd share...

According to George Harrison, getting a woman is the product of both time and money.

Women = Time x Money

We've also been told that time *is* money.

Women = Money x Money

Multiplying a number by itself is the same as squaring, mathematically...

Women = Money^2

Given that money is the root of all evil:

Money = sqrt(Evil)

Solving for Evil:

Money^2 = sqrt(Evil)^2 = Evil

Since we know that

Women = Money^2 and Money^2 = Evil

then, by the transitive property of equality, we can therefore assert that:

Women = Evil

... ain't math cool ?

Much ado

2005-08-24T01:04:00.000-05:00

About... what was that now?

Firstly, this class reunion database thing has been more like a job than I thought it'd be. Just like most computer related things, setting up the framework was like a 10-minute job. Alas, the data entry and updating has been... time consuming.

Secondly, I did manage to get out and see "Sky High". I recommend it. It was a lot less like a teen goofball comedy than I'd been expecting. Goes to prove something that I've believed for years: If you have a good story, you can put it in any setting, be that the Old West, Outer Space, or even a High School for the kids of superheroes.

Thirdly, let us take a moment to learn from the mistakes of others. If you go to Bulgaria to shoot a movie and get hooked on heroin while you're there, do be careful not to share needles or you may end up with a heart infection, a collapsed lung, and a raging case of Hepatitis C like Natasha Lyonne did...

Fourthly, here's a comforting thought from the movie trailer for 'Proof':
Hopkins: Crazy people don't sit around wondering if they're nuts.
Paltrow: They Don't?
Hopkins: Of course not! They've got better things to do!

Fifthly, I must say that I'm looking forward to seeing 'The Brothers Grimm', which is coming out this weekend. Terry Gilliam is definitely my favorite director when it comes to realizing fantastic (and odd) imagery and themes.

and Sixthly (is that even a word?)

I'll try to better about updates... Sheesh... Who knew I had an audience?

Reunion

2005-08-09T10:51:00.000-05:00

Was home over the weekend to help with scanning some old (like 120 years old) family photos. Always cool to get some perspective on family history.

Anyway, my Mom has been helping at a local school as a substitute teacher for awhile now. The teacher that she’s been helping has a son about the same age (not quite a year old) as my younger nephew. Long story short, Mom will be babysitting the little guy twice a week, the same time that she has little Joey. So she came over to the P’s and brought Owen so as to get him acclimated to the surroundings.

Sounds normal, you say… Nothing unusual, you say…

Until you consider that this teacher is the same person who, 16 years ago, gave me an angel teddy bear with a pretty nasty card attached.

We’d only seen each other a few times since that long ago day, and things were always pretty chilly.

I was delighted to be able to spend an afternoon together chatting and playing with the kids. No tension at all. I guess some time in the last decade or so, she realized what I’d kind of known all along: that we were *not* meant for each other. She was eager to get in some intense Harry Potter discussion, as her husband (also a high school classmate of mine) isn’t into that sort of thing. All in all, a fine afternoon, and a welcome re-connection with an old friend.

With that as a taste, I have to say that I’m looking forwards to (ulp) my imminent 20th high school reunion!

He said,

2005-08-04T04:38:00.000-05:00

She said, “So, what do you think about dating me?”

Never thought I’d be on the delivering end of this line, but…

We’re just friends.

There’s an indefinable something that goes on in some relationships. Call it what you like, a spark, or ‘chemistry’, or whatever. It just wasn’t there for me.

Having been in relationships that have possessed that indefinable element, I guess I’m just not willing to settle for less. And knowing myself, If I was in a ‘comfortable’ relationship, and then met someone whom I thought was the ‘right one’ I’m not sure I’d have the guts to break up and try for that other person. Plus, the whole idea of breaking up with someone in order to be with someone else… well, it might be totally the right thing to do, but there’s something about it that seems… unwholesome.

I guess I’d rather wait for that ‘spark’.

Maybe I’m stupid like that. I do know that love can grow. I mean, it has to start somewhere, and when it starts the minute you see someone, who’s to say whether it’s ‘love at first sight’ or just an infatuation? Perhaps starting off with someone that you know and get along well with is a smarter move than diving headfirst into something.

Guess I’m just a diver.

They say

2005-07-27T02:45:00.000-05:00

They say that there's two girls for every guy.

But if you've had your two great loves, but neither one lasted, then what?

Oi, now what?

2005-07-25T12:02:00.000-05:00

Unlike Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, which was:

"Rated PG for quirky situations, action and mild language"

or Ice Age which was:

"Rated PG for mild peril"

When they get around to making Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince in 2008, if they go 'by the book' it'll likely be:

"Rated PG for frightening moments, creature violence, mild language and continuous snogging"

So yeah, I read it yesterday. Chock full of secrets, surprises, and unresolved mysteries...

One to go

2005-07-24T12:09:00.000-05:00

Managed to read the fifth Harry Potter book since yesterday. I must admit 870 pages in a day was a bit of a stretch, even for my voracious appetite. Guess I'll be trotting off to the bookstore this afternoon for the sixth... Speaking of appetite, did I remember to *eat* yesterday... ?

In other news: Too Right! I was hawking Dead Like Me yesterday, but honestly, if you've not seen Firefly, tune in to the Sci Fi channel, visit your local video store, or run out and plunk down $35 for the DVD set. I cannot recommend it highly enough.

Also does this bother anyone else, or is it just me? I'm a firm believer in self-fulfilling prophecies, so I'm a wee bit disturbed. I'd like to think that this sort of thing might be avoided, both because the stakes would be so high, and because... well... it's terribly rude!

Undead

2005-07-23T18:05:00.000-05:00

Over the last week, my blogging spirit has been compromised by two powerful afflictions.

Firstly, a sinus infection that I got either from my P’s or from my nephew Joey, depending on which of *them* gave it to the other (if you ask my sister, she’ll be more than happy to tell you her version of how the vector went: “Mom and Dad, you really need to be more careful and wash your hands thoroughly before handling Joey”… she’s such a *mom*). I’d had them before, but this one was particularly nasty in the sinus department, so, despite constant medication, I’d been getting very little sleep owing to the pressure and resulting headaches.

Secondly, when my nose wasn’t buried in a tissue, it was caught in a book. My Mom gave me a set of the first five Harry Potter books last Christmas, and I just now got around to reading them. Even for me, I’ve been through them at a pretty prodigious rate: a little over 1900 pages read in the last week. I’ve been a fan of juvenile fiction ever since I was a… well, juvenile, and I’ve been thoroughly enjoying them. “Ripping good yarn, eh Harry?” as Mr. Weasley would say…

Finally, I see yet another distraction looming on the horizon. The second (and sadly last) season of Dead Like Me is out on DVD this week. I purchased the first season after hearing some good buzz about it (I don’t watch television at all, which pretty much precludes me from subscribing to Showtime), and was thoroughly impressed. Following the travails of a young woman who is killed in a bizarre accident, yet subsequently finds herself as an ‘undead’ and is forced to make her way in the afterlife as a ‘reaper’ or collector of souls. Witty satire, humor, and a bit of philosophical introspection are backed up by a talented cast. In further way of a recommendation, *every* friend I’ve lent it to has both enjoyed it thoroughly and asked me whether more seasons are available. This’d be the last one, alas…

And finally, I volunteered to help set up and update/maintain a database for my upcoming 20th year High School Reunion... Wow... 20 years.

Out of time

2005-07-16T00:27:00.000-05:00

Those who know me know that I have a pretty serious fascination with time travel.

I have a shelf full of books with time travel stories, ranging from the classical to the ultramodern, and a handful of movies (mostly all bad) that deal with the subject to various depths. I’m fascinated by the possibility that such a thing might be possible; of the perils and promise that such an ability might unleash.

I saw Primer tonight.

After having seen it, if you handed me the keys to a time machine, I think I’d throw them away...

Dead

2005-07-15T02:35:00.000-05:00

Well, OK. Maybe not so much with the dead thing.

Though I’ve managed to recover from my exposure to the unnatural effects of both sun and labor, I have recently become peripherally involved in a very difficult situation, which has eaten up a lot of my thought processes during my waking hours.

Without going into too much detail, it’s about the ending of a relationship. Not that this is always a bad thing, because if two people are looking for different things, then it’s time to shake hands and move on. When the two people aren’t on the same page though, a breakup can be confusing, painful, and have long-lasting consequences.

The particular relationship in question has ended not with a whimper, but with a bang.

The moral of the story is this: Better to tell the truth and be up front about who you are, what you want, your past and hopes for the future than to find yourself in a position where an unintentional revelation proves just too much to handle and destroys the relationship.

In a parallel theme, think before you act. Though we like to say that we can forgive and forget, we’re all products of our families, societies, friends and mentors. Some things are acceptable, some things are unacceptable, and some are… really unacceptable. No matter how enlightened we might be, we’re all flawed humans, and sometimes we just can’t forgive, especially if we’ve been hurt deeply. So before you make irrevocable choices, give it some thought. Be cognizant of the path you’re on and where it is leading you. If you don’t like where you’re heading, step off that path; there are a thousand more.

If I may quote Lindsey Buckingham:

I think all of us have some inner demons that we struggle with. We all have them. And there’s been times when we’ve let them get the better of us. It’s just important to learn from your mistakes and to fight for the positive choice.

‘The positive choice’… I like that.

Still not dead

2005-07-11T13:35:00.000-05:00

Back from Lincoln again.

Got a little more sun in the process of vacuuming all the soffets that run aound the edge of the roof of the day care center. The little vents there were pretty clogged with dust and dogwood 'cotton', and so there wasn't a lot of air circulating in the attic, which was supposedly impacting the functioning of the air conditioning... somehow. Regardless, it looked pretty bad, so needed to be done anyways. Then there was yet another ceiling fan to install.

Quite pleased, though, as I finally got a good night's sleep last night. The previous few nights, i'd been waking up a lot because I roll around a lot in bed, and every time i'd roll over, i'd squish one of my sunburned shoulders and wake up. Between being pretty tired (did a day's worth of that 'working with your hands above your head' thing again) and making a little nest out of my pillows into which I wedged myself (so I couldn't turn over), I *finally* got some rest. Yay!

Hopefully, I can get back into the swing of blogging again... I missed out on Tom Cruise's wackiness, the russian astrologer suing NASA, and yet another terrorist act.

Plus I have some book reviews to share... tomorrow, perhaps!

Not Dead

2005-07-08T09:19:00.000-05:00

Been in Lincoln hanging out with the family and working on a project or two.

Things that I have learned in the last few days:

Sunscreen goes bad after a few years. Buy a new bottle every summer, even if it ain’t empty.

Your doctor is not lying. When your dermatologist tells you that the medication that you’re on will make you a lot more sensitive to sunlight, he isn’t kidding.

‘Professional’ is a relative term. Dad and I replaced the liner for the pool, and discovered that when it was originally installed, the crew that did it didn’t follow the instructions at all. Perhaps this liner (installed correctly) will last a little longer than the first one.

Careful what you teach. Dad was playing with my 10-month old nephew. Looking at little stuffed animals, he was pointing out noses, ears, mouths, and eyes. At the mention of eyes, little Joe promptly stabbed Dad in the eye. Missed the cornea, which I’ve been told is quite painful, but did manage to hook his finger and scrape the inside of Dad’s lower eyelid. The resulting infection is almost cured.

Nature has its own plan. Found a little nest of baby bunnies, just starting to get furry. How cute! Later that day, Gus the cat found the nest, too. Bunnies eaten. That’s the way it goes sometimes. To be fair to Gus, that’s his spot in the food chain, and having less rabbits out there is probably a good thing. The next day he got a ground squirrel, about which Dad was positively ecstatic.

And that’s the way it goes… I’m gonna take some more aspirin now, and wait and see if I’m getting blisters or now… yeow!

Meh

2005-07-05T13:11:00.000-05:00

So I saw a couple movies when I was visiting 'Doom' in Chicago.

Batman Begins was *still* good... even though that was the third time I've seen it.

I saw War of the Worlds, too.

Alas, even though it was one of the few movies this summer that I was psyched about, I kind of have to give it a 3 out of 5 rating.

That's 'cause it was about:

40% Alien wrought devastation (cool!)

20% What will humans do to stay alive / save themselves (cool!)

10% Kicking Alien Ass (always cool!)

30% Let's watch a dysfunctional family (bleh!)

I know that we need to feel attached to the characters if we're going to be involved in their struggles, but if I want that sort of movie experience, i'll rent Home for the Holidays...

Still have dangerously high expectations for Serenity...

Hall of Doom

2005-07-03T08:12:00.000-05:00

Yes, fans, I post to you now from none other than the Hall of Doom.

Haven't been up here to Chicago in awhile, so it's nice to see the places and faces again.

Doom and I went over to visit one of my ex-girlfriends last night.

(Editor's Note: She is the one who nearly got us lynched at Graceland.)

She's quite happily married now with two adorable little chilluns. As is my fate, I got to do Tech Support on her computer. Oh, well, like i've said before, it's nice to be able to use a skill that it took a lot of effort to gain.

For today, an early brunch, then off to see a movie or two.

So I guess the theme for today, if there is one, is that re-connecting with friends is cool.
I recommend it.

Oy, Canada

2005-07-02T09:47:00.000-05:00

Recovering from a friend's Canada Day party. She's from the Great White North, so has a bash every year to celebrate. That crazy canadian beer is like twice as alcoholic as 'normal' beers. Yikes !

Dunno if you've hears about Tom Cruise's outburst on the Today show, but he basically went off on Brooke Shields (and psychiatry in general).

Here's Brooke's rebuttal.

My favorite 'pot calling the kettle black' line from the article:

Cruise is a follower of Scientology, a religion that teaches that psychiatry is a destructive pseudo-science.

Gotta love those destructive pseudo-sciences, eh ?

Seein' as i've likely pissed off *somebody*, my work here is done: I'm off to the Big City, to visit the Hall of Doom !

Apple Pie a la (com)Mode !

2005-06-30T23:45:00.000-05:00

Had to pass this on:

Yum!

I don't know about that... I mean, i'm all for theme restaurants and all, and I've eaten 'people puppy chow' out of dog food bowls, but... yikes.

In other news... NASA finally set a launch date: July 13th... The US returns to space!

Miles to go...

Not a Golden Pond

2005-06-29T23:46:00.000-05:00

Something curious on one of Saturn's moons...

Check it out

Might just be dried up, but even if it isn't, I don't think I want to swim in liquid methane or slimy ash sludge.

On the other hand, low gravity goo wrestling might just be what gets space tourism off the ground.

Pu

2005-06-28T16:13:00.000-05:00

Seen a lot about Uranium and Plutonium in the news lately.

The big issue is that Iran says that it will go forwards with uranium enrichment (for either reactors or weapons) and that no deal will deter them.

I guess that’s the way it is then. If some country wants to spend a couple hundred million dollars to crank out a couple pounds of enriched uranium, then spend another couple to design a bomb, then that’s up to them. Never mind that they have people starving in the streets.

Here’s the thing, though. In our post Cold War world, nuclear weapons are pretty poor investments. China has about 80 of them total, not a single one installed in an ICBM.

That’s it. They’re not *meant* to be used. Build all you want if it will make you feel powerful.

If you decide to use one, though...

Well, I don’t know what would happen if someone nuked the Eiffel Tower, or the Parthenon, but it should be pretty clear at this point what happens when America is attacked. We’ve got a pretty healthy bloodlust.

So, build ‘em if you want to, but don’t use one on me.

And yeah, I guess that *is* some kind of threat.

Such a girl

2005-06-27T07:08:00.000-05:00

Three movies that make me weepy:

What Dreams May Come
A little weepy : Hey, it's a tearjerker.

The Cutting Edge
Misty : Somewhat embarrassing, as it's so... well, cliche'. Associated in my mind with a particular girl, so it has extra weepy-power.

She's Having a Baby
Tears : Every time... what a rollercoaster. John Hughes in his prime.

Honorable mentions:

Return of the King
That last goodbye at the shore. Definitely weepy. You know it's working when one guy kisses another and it is so *not* gay.

Some Kind of Wonderful
Misty. Another John Hughes film. The same plot as Pretty in Pink, but in my opinion, much better.

So... what are *your* weepy movies ?

Wisdom?

2005-06-26T22:49:00.000-05:00

Time for the more or less weekly dose of Samurai Wisdom:

Ikuno Oribe said:
“If a retainer will just think about what he has to do for the day at hand, he will be able to do anything. If it is a single day’s work, one should be able to put up with it. Tomorrow, too, is but a single day.”

Ok, at this point it should be fairly clear that I dig philosophy. However, like in all philosophies from ages past, one must use a critical eye. Not *all* of the things in that book are worth modeling one’s life after, as it was a far different time:

It is better not to bring up daughters. They are a blemish to the family name and a shame to the parents. The eldest daughter is special, but it is better to disregard the others.

Yeah… maybe not so much with that one.

One month later

2005-06-25T23:23:00.000-05:00

Interesting reading (recently declassified) about the first foreign reporter allowed into Japan after the atomic bombs were dropped.

A Nagasaki Report

There's a bit of jingo-ism in it, but interesting reading nonetheless.

I know *i'll* never ignore a CD siren again...

Oh, puh-leeze !

2005-06-24T22:18:00.000-05:00

I think someone needs to call the Waaah-mbulance for Oprah.

Oprah's utter humiliation!

Come on, lady. Get real. You showed up 15 minutes *after* the store closed. *I* sure as heck wouldn’t have gotten in. I’ve done that exact thing plenty of times.

Now, I won’t be so naieve as to think that having a lot of money doesn’t get you special treatment in our world, but it’s not something that you’re *entitled* to.

If she got that worked up about being denied entrance into a store that was closed (and was so childishly petulant about it that she cancelled an order that she had placed there), then I reckon she *needed* to be humiliated. That word comes from the latin verb ‘to humble’.

Sounds to me like a little humility might be in order.

Crazy, I tell you !

2005-06-23T23:42:00.000-05:00

Or something...

Here's an interesting article about a recently-published book about the 'science' of psychology and psychiatry, specifically as it relates to legal and/or moral implications regarding criminal insanity:

The Psychiatric Abolitionist

I especially liked the testimony he gave concerning a woman who strangled a young boy, as to whether she was acting on her racist bias, or whenther she was insane:

“She was suffering from the consequences of having lived a life very badly, very stupidly, very evilly.…From the time of her teens, for reasons which I don’t know…whatever she [has] done, she has done very badly. She was a bad student.…She was a bad wife. She was a bad mother. She was a bad employee insofar as she was employable. Then she started to engage [in taking] illegal drugs, then she escalated to illegal assault, and finally she committed this murder.…Life is a task. You either cope with it or it gets you.…If you do not know how to build, you can always destroy.”

Interesting to me, especially since I watch a fair amount of Law and Order, in which psychiatric evaluations often are critical in the episode's resolution.

And, again, an insight into what madness is... or is not.

No onions!

2005-06-22T16:00:00.000-05:00

OK, maybe *one* onion...

The Onion

A view of what 'The Onion' will be like in 2056.

Chock full of funny stuff, as always... be sure to click the language selection pull-down box at the top for some... erm... 'options'

Pardon me

2005-06-21T08:00:00.000-05:00

I picked up the movie “Girl, Interrupted” yesterday from the $5 bargain DVD rack.

I’d forgotten how good it was. If you haven’t seen it, I heartily recommend it. It’s a serious look at a question we subconsciously (or openly) ask ourselves every day: Am I normal? A little crazy? A *lot* crazy?

My favorite scene between Dr. Wick (Vanessa Redgrave) and Susanna (Winona Ryder):

Dr. Wick : The word (ambivalent) suggests that you are torn between two opposing courses of action.

Susanna : Will I stay or will I go?

Dr. Wick : Am I sane or am I crazy?

Susanna : Those aren't courses of action.

Dr. Wick : They can be... for some...

Quis hic locus?
Quae regio?
Quae mundis plaga?

What place is this?
What kingdom?
What shores of what worlds?

It's a very big question you're faced with, Susanna.
The choice of your life.
How much will you indulge in your flaws?
What are your flaws?
Are they flaws?
If you embrace them, will you commit yourself to hospital for life?

Serious stuff… and based on a true story.

Rent, now !

Rocket Man

2005-06-20T23:14:00.000-05:00

Curious story about going to Mars:

Space Case

The tidbit that surprised me:

Last year, the amount of money that the US paid out in Food Stamps was equal to *double* NASA's total budget.

I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that. Not that avoiding starvation isn't important, but looking forward and investing in the future has always been one of the things that has made our country great.

My favorite quote:

"We have never wasted a dime in space. There are no *stores* in space. All the money has been spent on Earth."

Maybe if we trimmed that defense budget a bit... not that *it* doesn't produce technology that benefits the common man, but... yikes. Over 400 billion dollars spent primarily on refining our already formidable ability to kill each other.

No easy answers, I guess.

Maiden Fair

2005-06-19T23:32:00.000-05:00

Did my annual Renaissance Festival today.

In years past, I’d gone out and camped the weekend at the place, but this year, I just daytripped. Of course, that meant that this year, the weather was the best that I could ever remember (since I *wasn’t camping, of course).

Out of the maybe 15 or so years that I’ve gone to this particular event, the most memorable weekend, weather-wise had to be the day we nearly had a tornado tear through camp. Instead of the actual tornado, we got driving rain, and half-inch diameter hailstones. I recall ‘some crazy people’ grabbing plastic groundcloths and bodysurfing down the hill on the layer of water and ice.

I did miss the nightly revelry and friendly carousing though. Much medieval dancing, which I enjoy, and, of course, the drinking of fermented beverages. This is slightly unusual, in that a fair amount of said beverages are actually produced by the people who bring them. Beers, wines, ales, and meads. Yum! Plus, there’s nothing quite like sitting around a fire with friends and telling tales while nursing a good glass of wine.

Maybe next year I'll drag out the tent.

Best of all, it was the first time I’ve gone there in the last few years and *didn’t* think of my last girlfriend. I’d come to associate her with that event, and it seems that the association is broken. So maybe I can start actually enjoying it again!

No sunburn, either… bless the SPF 45 guys !

Dreams Redux

2005-06-18T21:53:00.000-05:00

I still dream of you
Lying in bed at night
Feeling a little bit alone
But I know why
You are a bird, and I am a fish
And that’s ok
We are what we are
You would never be happy living your life by my rules
And I’d be miserable following yours
And that’s ok, too
Sort of the definition of ‘not meant to be’
And yet, despite understanding,
When sleep comes, and I embrace the irrational
I still dream of you

Code Read

2005-06-17T16:56:00.000-05:00

My mom lent me a stack of books awhile back, and I finally got around to reading the last one. Last night, I cracked open Dan Brown’s “The DaVinci Code.”

It was pretty good. I’m curious to see the upcoming movie.

(Ed. Note: I read pretty fast. Not one of those high-speed page at a time scanner freaks, but I can read about 100 pages an hour when i'm 'in the zone'.)

Alas, I had two serious handicaps that interfered with my enjoyment of the book. Firstly, I’ve read a couple books on grail legends, so I already knew one or two of the ‘revelations’ in the book. Secondly, my roommate is, amongst other things, a biblical scholar who also is quite interested in the Knights Templar. So between those two, the total number of ‘surprises’ in the book was reduced to… erm… one.

I think the most interesting part of the book for me was that the main protagonist was a religious symbologist. As a result, there was some comparative exploration of the symbols and icons of both the early pagan religions and Christianity itself. As a novel designed to entertain, I imagine that some of it might be, well, made up, but I’m curious enough to look for more information.

And if, after reading a book, it makes me want to read *another* book or two, the author’s done a good job!

No, I’m not kidding

2005-06-16T18:55:00.000-05:00

Go out and buy the new William Shatner album “Has Been”

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking… and you’re just a little bit right.

There are a couple goofy songs on the album, however, there are a *lot* of insightful songs on the album (including the goofy ones).

Ben Folds produced the album (which has scored 4 out of 5 stars on the AllMusic Guide), and wrote a fair amount of the music. Other vocalists who show up on the album are Joe Jackson, Aimee Mann, and Henry Rollins. One of the songs was co-written by Nick Hornby (who wrote High Fidelity, which I also recommend in both print and film versions).

You’re left with a lot of stuff to think about when you’re done listening, which is cool!

I can see you’re still not convinced…

I thought about posting some sort of guarantee where I’d offer to mail you a personal check if you didn’t dig the album, but what with this being on the Internet, that’d prolly be mega-stupid. Having said that, how about this:

Take a leap of faith. Get the album.

Listen to it a couple times. If you really can’t find a message in there worth hearing, drop me an e-mail, and let me know why you didn’t like it.

We’ll work something out.

It's *that* good... no, really !

Looker

2005-06-15T16:01:00.000-05:00

You look mahvelous!

Friend of mine sent me something thought provoking semi-related to yesterday’s medication post:

“But also disturbing is giving your young child hormone shots so that he'll be tall when he matures, or getting an eye tuck, tummy staple, etc. In a world where we preach tolerance, we are artificially raising standards and expectations. "Physical correctness" used to be democratic - a function of genes. Now it's a function of money.

When is the last time you saw a younger person (i.e. in their twenties or younger) with crooked teeth?”

Made me think of a recent issue of Time magazine in which one high-schooler got a liposuction job for the prom. Woah!

I understand that in cases of extreme obesity, there’s a need for surgical procedures to get the person back into a healthy situation, but the obsession (there’s no other owrd for it) that we have with so-called physical perfection is beginning to border on the obscene. From the Hollywood girl who wants to be a living Barbie doll (she’d had like 30 plastic surgeries) to Michael Jackson and his ‘body dysmorphic disorder’, what the heck kind of messages are we sending to our younger generation?

I’m gonna make a bold statement, and say that if you’re so obsessed with your looks that you think you need a bunch of plastic surgeries to make you happy, *it won’t work*. Happiness is an inner function of one’s person. What’s on the outside can definitely contribute, but it isn’t the source.

Better, I think, to try to find some peace with who you are.

Taking a personal stand, I’m standing pat with my too big nose, too small eyes, receding hair and non-capped teeth.

I recall a schoolyard ‘-ism’ (not a rhyme, really) that I doubt children chant anymore:

Differences are nice
They’re what make us people
People just don’t always
Have to be alike

And that’s how it works in my *perfect* world…

Make it a double

2005-06-14T16:01:00.000-05:00

As a member of an extended family in which about half of us have been or are currently on one mood-regulating drug or another, I try to keep up with what's going on in the world of "better living through chemistry."

Searching for such things, I found this article, which poses a novel question:

What if Edgar Allen Poe had taken Prozac?

We are all driven by our demons to some extent, though some are louder than others. Mastering one's weaknesses and conquering one's past is seen as a virtue, but is it possible though, that quelling those internal voices takes something vital away from us?

Perhaps being a *little* disturbed isn't such a bad thing.

At least i'd like to think so...

Motivation

2005-06-13T23:06:00.000-05:00

Sometimes the news is rather disturbing.

It seems that a whole lot of the time, we humans treat each other rather poorly: Stealing, killing, abuse, virtual (and probably actual) slavery…

Like The Ramones, I often wonder: “Why is it always this way”?

This might have something to do with it:

Covetousness, anger and foolishness are things to sort out well. When bad things happen in the world, if you look at them comparatively, they are not unrelated to these three things. Looking comparatively at the good things, you will see that they are not excluded from wisdom, humanity, and bravery.

-Yamamoto Tsunetomo - Hagakure (The Book of the Samurai)

So here’s to those who embrace wisdom, humanity and bravery in defiance of covetousness, anger and foolishness. Whether it be a federal agent helping to expose corruption, or an everyday wife or husband who chooses family instead of wealth and power, these are the people making what I like to call the ‘positive choice’.

Choose wisely, indeed !

Cut the blue wire!

2005-06-12T22:50:00.000-05:00

“If you’re going to do something, do it right.”

I don’t know how many times I’ve heard this, but today, it sure made sense.

Despite a number of technical hurdles, we managed to get the two critical ceiling fans installed today. There’s one classroom that has a window-filled long wall that faces the sun, so it can get quite warm in there with no air circulation. The *second* most difficult part of the job was brought about because the ceilings were ‘hung’ ceilings, made out of an aluminum grid supporting lightweight ceiling panels, which were suspended about eight inches below the original ceiling. As such, we had to construct some sturdy mounting brackets that would attach the fairly heavy fans directly to the old ceiling, but still look nice with the new, lower ceiling. Not a big deal, but monkeying around those brackets so that the fans would go through the old holes in the tiles that the previous light fixtures used was a bit of a pain.

The really aggravating part was that whoever installed those previous fixtures didn’t do it very well. Not only were they cumbersome to remove, but the electrical wiring was a total mess. In a standard house-type electrical wiring setup, the black wire is always ‘hot’ (meaning if you touch it, and are grounded, you get zapped), white wires are neutral, and the bare wire is a ground, for safety purposes. The wire that was leading to one of the old lights had yellow, black, and white wires. The *yellow* was hot, and both the others were neutral. A second light had the same three colors of wire, but this time, the *white* was hot… WTF?

Bad enough that whomever did it didn’t use the black wire for the ‘hot’ one, but they also did it *differently* when they did the other fixture. While it’s true that it will still work no matter what colors you use for which wire, it makes re-wiring something more of a hassle, and potentially dangerous if you’re the least bit complacent.

The icing on the cake came when we were cleaning up, and I plugged in a vacuum in order to clean up our mess. The wall outlet that I plugged into slid *into* the wall as I plugged it in. It wasn’t really connected to the wall, just sort of sitting in a little niche in the wall. No wonder that outlet wasn’t used. A half-hour later…

So, if you’re going to try something new in the realm of home repair, spend a bit of research time and do it right. Match up those wire colors, and make sure your mounting screws are installed correctly. Not only is it professionally courteous (if you can’t get it to work and have to call an electrician), but if you have to repair it yourself at some later point, it makes *your* life easier (and safer), too!

Having said that… It’s not too hard to put in a new outlet; and trivial to replace an old one. I’ve probably put in a hundred or so, and it isn’t a big deal. If you’re daring, get a Do-it-yourself book, be sure to follow your safety regulations, and have fun. There’s nothing quite like the feeling you get when you throw that switch and an electrical device comes on. It’s empowering (no pun intended) in a primitive, witch-doctor, harnessing the power of the gods sort of way.

Off to bed with me. I've proven yet again that working with your hands above your head is about five times more tiring than regular work. I'm tuckered out.

Thar she blows!

2005-06-11T23:00:00.000-05:00

And I thought I was bad...

SNOT!

Hope floats... and so does sorrow... but not these guys!

The 'fan' club re-convenes tomorrow morn. To bed with me !

Reason # 17

2005-06-10T21:58:00.000-05:00

Why my life is *not* like the movies.

Movies:

"Join me... and we will rule the galaxy as Father and Son!"

My Life:

"Join me... and we will install a dozen ceiling fans as Father and Son!"

I guess it's ok... Less chance of getting choked to death.

(note to self: do not wear a necktie while installing fans tomorrow... no sense pressing my luck)

In A Mood

2005-06-09T20:05:00.000-05:00

No doubt...

I was e-mailing a friend yesterday; one whom I had lost track of. Lives moving in different directions and the such.

I mentioned that I thought it was ironic that now, possessing much hard-won knowledge and experience about what makes relationships work, when to stick together and when to break up, how to keep relationships healthy and what I want in one...

I'm single.

I feel like a kid who finally got rid of his learner's permit and got his driver's license, only to find that there's no car at home.

I s'pose i'll have to console myself with some advice from Mr. Santana:

Too bad it belonged to me
It was the wrong time and not meant to be
It took a long time and I'm new born now
I can see the day that I bleed for
If it's agreed that there's a need
To play the game and to win again

Stay at the table long enough, and even a blind man will win a hand...

And now, my eyes are open!

Curiouser and curiouser

2005-06-08T15:10:00.000-05:00

A blog that I have started reading daily was transmogrified this morning.

Insted of many years' accumulated posts, each offering glimpses into the life, hopes, and thoughts of the author, the site now contains a single post:

STOP READING MY BLOG

I shall assume for the sake of my ego that this message wasn't directed *solely* at me. As I thought about it, I came up with two observations:

1. Isn't that a bit like jumping up in a crowded theater, tearing your clothes off, and shouting: "Stop Staring At Me!" ? Now i'm intrigued more than ever...

2. Perhaps (again with the ego) this could be related to my teddy bear post... ?

-Hope you get it all sorted out... Zen Hugs !

Not my fault

2005-06-08T14:50:00.000-05:00

It's so hard... and we try and we try... but we just can't... can't... (sob)...

Sweet release

Erm... from liability, that is !

Love is

2005-06-07T15:04:00.000-05:00

If pop music can be believed, Love is like a Rock and Love is like Oxygen.

Despite my irrational love of analogy, that information doesn’t help a lot.

I suppose the best I can do, analogy-wise, is to say that love is a merging of personal spaces. Not only in the realm of the physical world, but also in the emotional sense as well.

Suddenly, you cannot seem to get close enough to that other person. The barriers that we erect to keep the rest of humanity at arm’s length (literally and metaphorically) are opened to admit another human being.

Whatever affects one, affects both, due to the overlapping spheres. If one is distraught, the other will likely get there too, whether by empathy or infection. Fortunately, the same holds true for joy!

Given enough time, I think those overlapping fields merge to some extent. Not that one surrenders one’s individuality (though that can be a danger), but rather that one gains something extra: A synthesis of themselves and another person. You, Me, and Us.

As to how this happens, or how the mechanisms behind it function, I have no idea. Though a scientist at heart, i’ll have to admit that there ain’t any answers to be found there about love.

I’ll have to leave you in the capable hands of Danny Boyle (it’s not all about heroin and zombies!):

Celine: So you're telling me that successful relationships are made in heaven?
*Not* founded on the daily practicality of two people being prepared to tolerate the imperfections of each other?

Robert: It's not "successful relationships", Celine... It's *love*. And it comes from a strange and wonderful place that we don't know about.

Celine: So then you also reject the idea that love is merely an emotional adaptation to a physical necessity?

Robert: Completely!

Celine: Are you serious?

Robert: Fate intervenes in peoples' lives.

Celine: In ours, for instance?

Robert: Fate brought us together. It kept us together. We were destined for one another.

Celine: Fate had a pretty strange way of making its point.

Robert: But that's part of the beauty of it. It's inexplicable, unpredictable, and absolutely beyond control or understanding.

Celine: But you nearly got killed!

Robert: But I *didn't*! And here we are!

Celine: Do you have any substantial evidence to back all this?

Robert: None at all.

Celine: And you realize that it's absurd and irrational.

Robert: I know that.

Celine: Then why do you believe it?

Robert: Because, Celine, I'm a dreamer...

- A Life Less Ordinary (1997)

Huntin’ the Horny-Back Toad

2005-06-06T14:48:00.000-05:00

Ahh.. home!

Glad to be back where the stoplights are vertical, everything is green-green, and where the animals that get et are cooked first!

The visit was busy, busy, busy. The whirlwind frenzy getting ready for the party was exacerbated by an unrelated crisis, and quite likely, by me showing up. What was I thinking?

Having said that though, I’m glad I went. All my ‘mission objectives’ were completed:

Meet Erica’s Parents: After hearing her talk about them, I was most curious to get a chance to chat with them. They did not fail to impress!

Meet a couple of the DFW Blogger crew: Tina and Leia were there, so now I can attach a voice to those CRT-delivered messages. I’d been hoping to see Alison, but she’d just moved to Arlington the day before…

Get out of the house: Even a short trip would have been OK, I just needed a bit of a change of scenery (It had been a year or two since I had left Illinois). I got to see, like hills and stuff !

Get to know Erica: You can trade e-mails and chat on the phone all you want, but I don’t think you can know someone until you meet them in the flesh. Much of our communication is body language, which is always lost in translation. Also I got to see her in her element, which, if one is perceptive, can tell volumes about someone. Speaking of volumes, she had a most interesting bookshelf, which I believe to be an excellent touchstone of one’s personality. Finally, I got to see her in action: She was the perfect hostess at the party, slowly wandering from table to table to chat with everyone there. After much chatting and observation, I now believe that I know her.

Finally, whenever you travel, you can learn something new about yourself by way of reflection. I did.

Party Time

2005-06-05T01:36:00.000-05:00

The party was a hoot!

Much brisket and sausage was served, preferably drowned in "Texas" style barbecue sauce (which, to be fair did taste a bit different than what i'm used to).

The band was quite good! I especially approved of the keyboardist/bongo player.

I met Erica's P's, who seemed quite cool. Very into ballroom dancing, which isn't all that uncommon, I guess, but when she rattled off all of the different dances they knew, I was quite impressed. Fans of the big-band sound as well, which I heartily approve of.

Finally, I got to meet a bunch of Erica's friends, including Leia, whose blog I also frequently visit.

Again, it's late, and i'm, pretty tired. Plus they do indeed have Texas-sized mosquitos here... yeowtch!

Back to my usual high quality posting (ahem) when I return to the land of corn!

Samurai Says:

2005-06-04T11:50:00.000-05:00

When going someplace for a talk or something similar, it is best to let the person know ahead of time, and thengo. To go without knowing whether the other party is busy, or when he has some particular anxiety, is awkward. There is nothing that surpasses not going where you have not been invited. Good friends are rare. Even if someone is invited somewhere, he should use understanding. It is difficult to feel deeply the sensitivities of people other than those who go out only rarely. Fiascos at pleasure gatherings are numerous.

Yamamoto Tsunetomo - Hagakure (the Book of the Samurai)

I am *so* underfoot right now... oops!

Tejas !

2005-06-03T23:49:00.000-05:00

I post to you now from the hallowed halls of the late, great Lucci House!

The drive down was grueling, as I had suspected.

About halfway down, I discovered that the guys at Mapquest are a bunch of lying $%*!$@#.

They said 13 hours... it was more like 15 1/2 hours... Yikes.

Things I have discovered/seen on my trip:

Stoplights in Pantego, Texas are aligned horizontally insted of vertically.

You can buy *one* can of beer at the local quicki-mart here.

A lot more cows and hay; hardly any crops at all.

The interstate speed limit in Texas is 75 MPH during the day; 65 at night.

The tollway in Oklahoma has a speed limit of 80 MPH.

For all the cash that the Oklahoma tollway sucked from me ($7), they need better roadkill cleanup crews. I saw three possums that looked like furry basketballs.

I saw three gigantic prop blades for a windmill, each on a different truck.

I saw the front fuselage from an old DC-10 strapped to a flatbed truck.

I probably saw more, but right now, I need sleep. Been up for 24 hours now, 15 of which I spent in a car.

And the left side of my neck is sunburned... ow!

The Angry Note

2005-06-03T00:36:00.000-05:00

For a change, *I* had broken up with a girl.

We’d been friends in high school, and we spent a lot of time together over the summer after my sophomore year of college. Though I’d made it pretty clear that this was just a sort of summer fling, by the time summer ended she was expecting an engagement ring for Christmas. I broke up with her.

As a parting gift, she gave me a medium-sized white teddy bear with iridescent lame’ wings. Amazingly enough, the product was actually named: “Andrew the Angel Teddy Bear.”

Inside his little tag/card was this inscription:

This is for the long, cold, lonely nights.
You will have many.
Go alone into the night armed with your guilt and selfishness,
and know that you will always be alone.
Too bad *you* aren’t an angel.

For many years, I kept him, sealed in his little plastic tote bag, as a constant admonishment to be more perceptive of others’ feelings…

There’s a local SCA group (of which I am a fringe member) that has a tradition. Every year we save up the things that we either don’t like, don’t want to be reminded of, or simply have had quite enough of. On Halloween, we release ourselves of these painful or tiresome things by casting them into a huge bonfire.

I’m free.

News Flash

2005-06-02T15:28:00.000-05:00

Never before in the annals of man's history has a single day been so fraught with significance.

What of Dec 6, 1941? Feh! July 4, 1776? Peanuts!

We're talking about important stuff here; namely:

DONUTS!

Yes folks, tomorrow, June 3rd is Donut Day. Plan a trip to your local Krispy Kreme donutorium and get your free donut!

(Lucky me, I have one here in town!)

You may now return to your non-donut activities...

Laugh and/or Cry

2005-06-01T15:18:00.000-05:00

"We're up to our asses in impractical manifestos that don't get anybody anywhere. I can't imagine why we'd need another one."

I'm not sure if the fact that it's true makes it more funny or less funny.

thanks, Tycho!

Speaking of Ecclesiastes...

2005-06-01T11:45:00.000-05:00

Try working *that* line into daily conversation!

Though, thinking about loved ones recently (and not so recently) passed, I am reminded of a poem that does refer to that passage in the bible. A poem which, if you ever attend a funeral with me, you are likely to hear me read.

I will now share it with you.

A Man In His Life

A man in his life has no time to have
time for everything.
He has no room to have room
for every desire.
Ecclesiastes was wrong to claim that.

A man has to hate and love all at once,
With the same eyes to cry and to laugh.
With the same hands to throw stones
And to gather them.
Make love in war and war in love.

And hate and forgive and remember and forget
And order and confuse and eat and digest.
What long history does
In so many years.

A man in his life has no time.
When he loses, he seeks.
When he finds, he forgets.
When he forgets, he loves.
When he loves, he begins forgetting.

And his soul is knowing,
And very professional.
Only his body remains an amateur
Always. It tries and fumbles.
He doesn’t learn and gets confused,
Drunk and blind in his pleasures and pains.

In autumn, he will die like a fig,
Shriveled, sweet, full of himself.
The leaves dry out on the ground.
And the naked branches point
To the place where there is time for everything.

– Yehuda Amichai

What a piece of work is man, no ?

Poet or Nerd?

2005-05-31T15:45:00.000-05:00

Which do you think of first when you hear the word

sublime

A: Not to be excelled, inspiring, majestic.

B: To cause something to change state directly from a solid to a gas (or vice versa) without an intermediate liquid state.

And there you have your answer !

Choose wisely

2005-05-31T09:02:00.000-05:00

Regrets, on the avoidance of.

I have *so* made a bazillion mistakes in my lifetime. Some have been more serious than others. One very nearly landed me in prison (a story for another day). I view my mistakes as valuable lessons; my father told me once that the only truly stupid mistake is the one that you make a second time. However, there are a few instances in which I wish I could have done things differently.

Here are two:

I was a grade ‘A’ jerk to my second girlfriend. I was selfish, unattentive, uncaring, exploitative, rude, and on occasion just plain cruel. I haven’t any excuse for my behavior. I went to college, and literally went wild in more ways than one. If I could go back, i’d be a lot better to her than I was. Not that we’d be together today (another story for later), but I don’t think anyone should be treated the way I treated her. The amazingly cool thing: She forgave me, and we’re good friends today.

I was visiting the ‘driveway girl’ that I mentioned in my very first post. She invited me to come to Eastern Illinois University to visit. We ended up getting snowed in (an Illinois staple). It was a little after midnight, and we were standing at the window of her 10th story dormitory, watching the snow rushing down the side of the buildings, then blowing out across the quad in an orange mercury-vapor lamp powered frozen waterfall. It was, without a doubt, the most visually romantic setting I’ve ever been in. Some years later, she told me: “I *really* wanted you to kiss me that night.” Arrgh… I really wanted to kiss her too, but didn’t. Again, not that I think we’d be together today, but it *was* the perfect time, the perfect setting, and there was some serious mutual attraction mojo going on. Alas…

So whether it is things done, or things left undone, these days I try to think about what the consequences will be when I’m deciding what to do. Don’t get me wrong: Working towards a goal that you want is important, but calculating the fallout is a worthy effort as well…

-Here’s to the avoided regrets of the future!

Memorial Day

2005-05-30T17:37:00.000-05:00

To all those who have fallen in service to our country: Your duty was fulfilled.

Whether in war or peace, in training or on the killing fields, at home or abroad, you held the line.

You stood firm.

And by taking on the mantle of the soldier with resolve, you created freedom.

For at least one other person was spared: the person who would have had to take your place if you had not done your duty.

In the greater sense though, every one of us has been spared. Spared to live out lives free of the many sacrifices you made in service to your country, both in life and in death.

So from those of us whose freedom you have purchased so dearly, thank you.

We will try to remember this gift, not only on this day of remembrance and celebration, but every day that we look up and see the standard of our nation flying.

You may be gone from us, but you and your comrades lift that flag for us every day.

Letting Go

2005-05-29T22:08:00.000-05:00

Something showed up in my inbox the other day, and I thought that what I had to say on the matter might be worth hearing regardless of who you are…

I have tried talking to others about (my not working very well relationship), but I guess I am just not hearing what I want. At what point did you say enough? I am worth more? Move on?

I have had the luxury of being dumped in the only two relationships that I’ve had in which I was in love. As such, I’ve never been in the situation where I had to actively let go of someone with whom I was in love.

The trouble is that the cliché is true: Love is Blind. It can blind you to a lot of things, and unfortunately, being stuck in an unsatisfying relationship is one of them.

Regardless of what feelings you have for the other person in a relationship, there are things that you need from them. Things like security, friendship, love, tolerance, support and understanding are all chart toppers in this category.

The time to end a relationship is when you can say this to yourself: I am not getting the things that I need from this other person, and they give me no reason to hope that I will be getting them soon.

And that’s *okay*. It’s okay to break up with someone for a good reason like that. It doesn’t make you a ‘bad guy’ at all. The thing that makes you a bad guy is staying in a relationship that isn’t working and isn’t growing. When that kind of relationship goes on, then both people are then trapped in a relationship that isn’t what either wants. Better to make an ending so that a new beginning will be possible.

Take heart though: You have two of the three things that are required in order to have a life-mate:

Firstly, you know what you want. This seems silly, but it isn’t at all. Unfortunately, learning what it is that you really want is usually a matter of trial and error. So don’t despair at the pain you feel now, because it’s a worthy pain: It has allowed you to discover what it is that you *need*.

Secondly, you know how to love. Again, it sounds silly, but I’m convinced that a huge number of people (including a whole lot who get married) never figure it out. The fact that you find it hard to let go says that you are so committed to this person that you are willing to be unhappy to be with them. Sounds like co-dependency, but it isn’t if you can realize that despite your love, this relationship will not grow, and move on. Love is always good, but it can cause us to do all kinds of bad things when we don’t listen closely enough to our hearts.

The last thing, by the way, is to *find* that person. But you’ll have the tools that you need to succeed when you do.

So if you aren’t getting what you need, and the other person hasn’t given you reason to hope that you will, then let them go. Both of you will be released, free to find what each of you needs.

I shall now share my favorite movie quote about unreciprocated love:

Your love for her is yours. It belongs to you.
She rejects it, but she can't destroy it.
She's just missing out on it.

What you give is yours for good;
What you keep is lost forever.

- Ibrahim - "Monsieur Ibrahim" [2003]

-Here’s hoping you can find love, happiness, and contentment; either with this boy or another

-Zen Hugs!

Good Day

2005-05-29T21:14:00.000-05:00

Just got back from a cookout at my sister's place. Much meat was consumed, and the dessert choices were daunting.

Three interesting things:

Let me preface this by saying I am not a fan of racing in general, but I *did* watch the Indy 500 today. What a finish! The promising young rookie regained control after spinning out early in the race, and managed to move up through the pack to lead the race with five laps left. Then, low fuel caused the car to stutter in a turn, and she dropped back to finish fourth. It seems that women *do* belong in Formula One racing after all !

I understand one of the things that make pickup trucks attractive: They are a whole lot easier to wash and wax than a low-slung sports car. Yikes.

Finally, If one is going to use a variety of volatile chamicals to clean the inside of one's vehicle, make sure to allow plenty of time for the cleaners to dry and the vehicle to air out. I did not, and was surrounded by a variety of fumes during my 30 minute drive home. My car now smells like... [twitch] [twitch] HapPiNeSs !

I shall now take a nap.

CH3-CH2-OH

2005-05-28T07:18:00.000-05:00

Mmm… Alcohol…

It isn’t that one or two drinks allows you to think more clearly (even though it certainly *seems* like it, at least to me), but I do believe that it allows you to think *differently*.

Perhaps by chemically disabling or at least impairing certain processes, other, less frequently used or noticed ones move to the forefront, or are accessible to the conscious mind.

I have proven, to the amazement of others, that my skill level at playing billiards (which is not particularly good under normal circumstances) nearly doubles after about two drinks. Within five, however, I have declined to my usual level of incompetence. There is a noticeable window, however, in which, against logic, I actually play better.

I can only presume that, at least in the case of billiards, the part of my brain that I use to analyze everything ad nauseam gets shut off, and my kinesthetic sense gets access to my muscles without interference.

If I could somehow limit myself to two drinks, I imagine there are a variety of other processes that I could discover.

Alas, that measure of self-control is beyond me… Even in the name of Science !

I shall now go to back to sleep and dream of the ocean.

Crack of Doom

2005-05-27T02:04:00.000-05:00

Oh, *fine*… I’ll tell another story… You know how I hate doing this…

Rewind your clocks to the fall of 1987.

Both ‘Doom’ and I were back from home on fall break, and the two of us went the 8 miles to my ‘girlfriend’s’ house.

I put it in quotes, because I had no idea where the relationship was going. She was the first girlfriend I ever had, and she sure made the second half of my senior year of high school a lot more fun.

No, you pervs… not like *that* (Well, maybe a little like that).

Actually, it was a lot of fun because we complemented each other pretty well. We had some of the same friends, and she had a pretty good sense of humor (mandatory; both because I find it attractive, and because you need one to survive being around me for long). We had a bit of a tradition of pulling practical jokes on each other, and she gave as good as she got. I'll never forget lying on the couch with my head in her lap watching movies one Halloween. She asked if I wanted a chocolate. I said yes, and she popped a mini Hershey's bar into my mouth. She'd removed the paper wrapper, but it was still clad in tinfoil. A little acid from my saliva and a couple of metal fillings turned my mouth into a battery. I jerked upright, spitting and drooling. She thought it was hi-larious !

Alas, after graduation, we went to different colleges, and only saw each other a few times during the school year. Summer came, we both came home, and the two of us spent quite a bit of time together. Summer ended and we again split up to our respective schools. No binding agreements were made, but… well, I expected things to pretty much keep going the way they were (how like a Man, no?).

Anyways, there we were on fall break. I’d heard she was home, and so the two of us piled into his car and drove out of town, figuring we’d just say ‘hi’ or continue on south to the nearest metropolis for a movie or whatnot.

When we came in the house, it was weirdly quiet. She had a pretty good size family (three brothers and a sister), and it was a loud house. Not in a bad way at all, but there was always something going on. She met us at the door, and asked us to sit down.

Looking grave, she told us that she was getting married.

She’d done a pretty good job as far as pulling a prank went. It didn’t top my “I’ve got leukemia” stunt, but her timing and acting were flawless. I, however, didn’t buy it for a second. Before I could speak up though, ‘Doom’ did:

“So… When’s the baby due?” he said with a grin.

“May.” She said, with an ashen face.

I remember that afternoon for two reasons:

Firstly, it marked the most profound foot-in-the-mouth moment I have ever witnessed (and I’ve managed a few doozies myself).

And secondly, that was how my first romantic relationship ended.

Quotes

2005-05-26T15:10:00.000-05:00

Funny things my friends have said

(After having spent the cash he’d been saving up in order to move in with a girl on a nice piece of jewelry for himself:)

For as much money as that woman sucked away from me, this thing should be giving me superpowers or something.

(after a long night of drinking:)

I’m not drunk! I’m impaired… but I’m not drunk !

(while suffering through a formal dance with a dress that didn’t fit right and was chafing her ribs quite painfully:)

I’m sorry… I’ll be a lot more fun once I get out of this dress.

(and finally, in a computer lab class, after the teacher asked how they might approach a programming problem, and one of the students responded:)

Actually, that’s a really good idea. Much better than the method that we’re about to spend 45 minutes learning…

Tidbits

2005-05-25T15:19:00.000-05:00

Two bits of humor for today.

First, some background on the fellow who uttered the ‘spacesuit’ comment I mentioned yesterday. He was one of the very few people I have ever met whom I suspect had a more keen wit than I do, and might well have been smarter than me, to boot. He was a quiet fellow, but you could always see the gears turning behind his eyes, and whenever he said something, it was almost always a keen observation/insight, and frequently funny.

(Ed. Note: We didn’t really get to know each other very well, as we lived in different cities, and only met because we’d chased after the same girl at different times. Alas, I was in the ‘dominant’ position when we met, and that caused some strain. Joke's on us, though, neither of us ended up getting the girl in any kind of permanent fashion.)

So, there were four of us, all heading down Alabama to bid farewell to a mutual friend who was leaving for a tour in the Peace Corps. On the way, we stopped at Graceleand. Never before, or since, have I thought I would be lynched by an enraged mob. One of my traveling companions,

(Ed. Note: *This* female traveling companion was not the one that the other guy and I were chasing after, though the girl we were both interested in *was* our fourth member. I didn't chase after *this girl* until some months later. I was such a slut !)

then a coordinator at a Non-For Profit, had the temerity to ask the tour guide what percentage of his profits Elvis donated to charity (after the guide said that Elvis was generous to a variety of charities.) After that, she asked *another* lynchworthy question: How many of Elvis’ #1 songs had he written himself? (answer, zero). Somehow, we managed to escape the tour sans-beating, and ended up in the Graceland Gift Shop. As well as all things Elvis, there was a little ‘travelers’ niche’ where they had common sorts of travel-related paraphernalia. It was at this point that my fellow male traveler picked up an ordinary pill-minder (small container with a variety of compartments used for helping one remember when to take different medications.)

He said, “Look, it’s an Elvis Pill-Minder: Monday, Monday, Monday…”

The second funny bit for the day was uttered by me, only yesterday.

I was talking about how the US has the bad habit of pouring money and weapons into middle eastern countries that end up turning on us some years later, and I said, “Well, I can only hope that George was right.”

Ominous Silence.

“No, I meant George Harrison, like “From every mistake we must surely be learning…”, Not the President. You gotta be on your toes if you’re going to quote the president in a philosophical discussion.”

And that’s the way it was…

That’s a wrap!

2005-05-24T15:33:00.000-05:00

Mmm… Sex…

Apparently, it has been determined that the average person starts having sex at some point in their High School career. I find this not too hard to believe, as even *I*, the shy, nerdish Boy Scout that I was, managed to have sex before I graduated (though it was down to the wire, let me tell you…).

So here’s the beef:

That's not a gum machine !

As always, in this situation the major opponents are concerned that having ready access to condoms will increase promiscuity, and might cause teens that might not otherwise have sex to do so.

Teens are going to have sex. I know this because they *are* having sex… That’s, like, proof and stuff !

And, if statistics are anything to go by, they will have sex *with or without* condoms.
The first time I had sex, there was no condom, or anything else for that matter *Bad Andy!*. Since then, *not* having a condom handy *has* stopped me from having sex, but now I am older, and (at least marginally) wiser.

For well over 150,000 years, Homo Sapiens didn’t have any rules about when it was OK for people to start having sex. Mother Nature still wants us to get it on when we’re young and more likely to produce viable offspring… and those conditions are met in our teen years.

As well as hormones, cultural and peer pressure are *very* powerful.

I guess what I’m saying is that teens *will* have sex. They certainly have in the past, and there is no reason to think that the trend will not continue into the foreseeable future.

The decision we need to make right now is this:

Do we want our children to have condoms handy when they have sex, or not?

Based on the perils of teen pregnancy and sexually-transmitted diseases, I’d have to say ‘Yes’.

And *that* is my opinion !

She blinded me with

2005-05-23T08:52:00.000-05:00

Arrgh… only managed two hours of sleep, plus I have a disco song stuck in my head.

I shall therefore launch a diatribe.

This is America, and one of our guarantees is that one is allowed to follow whatever faith one chooses, if one chooses to follow a faith.

So I ain’t saying the Creationist lobby in Kansas is wrong to believe what they do…

But they *are* wrong in what they are *trying* to do.

After the US Supreme Court banned the teaching of Creationism in public schools in 1987, proponents of Creationism removed all the overt religious references, added scientific language, and repackaged it as an alternate science to Evolution.

The problem with this ‘intelligent design’ is that *it is not science*.

‘Intelligent Design’ is based upon the proposition that there are weaknesses in Darwin’s theory and suggests that an unnamed intelligence must have designed the complex aspects of nature still unexplained by science.

science (n) The observation, identification, description, experimental investigation, and theoretical explanation of phenomena.

For ‘intelligent design’ to be a valid scientific principle, we need evidence and a way to test it. However, it is not based on any evidence at all. It is based on non-evidence: “We cannot explain it *now*, so it must be something that we can never explain, therefore we must posit the intervention of a supernatural force.”

If a test cannot be designed to gather and scrutinize supporting information, then it ain’t science, folks! Testing one’s observations and evidence is what separates the wheat from the chaff in science.

Equally significantly, scientific beliefs are *not* immutable. Theories and beliefs are changed or discarded when new and better evidence is discovered and evaluated. I’d wager that no amount of quantitative nor qualitative evidence will cause the adherents of ‘intelligent design’ to change their beliefs. That makes it *not science*, too!

(That’d be hilarious… suppose that scientists proved that Buddha did it...)
(… ACT GAC TGA CTG BUD DHA CTG ACT… )

So, push forward with teaching Creationism if you think that’s the right thing to do, but don’t cheat our children by crippling them with defective critical thinking skills. Don’t label this set of thinly-veiled religious beliefs as a science.

You need more than a lack of contrary evidence for a good scientific theory. Just ask Galileo, the classic 'maverick scientist'. If he’d had no evidence, he wouldn’t have been imprisoned, because he wouldn't have dared publish anything. A scientist publishing a theory with no evidence?
O the Embarrassment!

Also of note regarding Galileo is the statement that the Pope made in 1992 when he pardoned Galileo:

“The pope concluded that while 17th-century theologians based their decision on the knowledge available to them at the time, they had wronged Galileo by not recognizing the difference between a question relating to scientific investigation and one falling into the realm of doctrine of the faith.”

Now *there* is something to think about…

Evil:\

2005-05-22T10:56:00.000-05:00

Technology is *not* the root of all evil.

Technology produces tools. How man chooses to use those tools can be either good, evil, both, or neither.

Whether or not a particular use is considered evil or not is decided by our ethos.

First, allow me to digress into some dictionary work:

ethic (n) 1a. A set of principles of right conduct. b. A theory or a system of moral values:

ethos (n) The disposition, character, or fundamental values peculiar to a specific person, people, culture, or movement.

While closely related, these two are not the same thing. This misconception is what is causing us some problems right now.

Ethos is tied to a particular culture. Behaviors that are good and moral in one society may be depraved and evil in another. Slavery, human sacrifice, and cannibalism all fall into this category.

There are no ‘absolute’ evils in the area of ethos (by definition of ethos).

You heard me. Within the realm of human behavior, there is no absolute Good; No absolute Evil.

Even under our own ethos, killing, theft and other ‘illegal’ activities are not always evil. In these cases, the end can sometimes justify the means.

The word ‘ethic’ by it’s definition, implies that there is “A set of principles of right conduct.” That can only be true for a particular culture ! There is no (and can be no) over-arching set of ethics that applies to all cultures.

So it is the height of arrogance for us to presume that *our* ethos is better than another culture’s…

Or even that it is better than one of our own sub-cultures'. There's more than two of us in this country, so we have more than one ethos. Some are more similar than others, some less so. Some are downright *different*.

I’ve already talked about the right to life/death before, but that topic is right at the very heart of this issue.

So is the topic of human stem cell research.

Some of us think that, since they believe that human life begins at the moment that a sperm cell joins with an ovum, that intentionally impregnating eggs so that they may be destroyed to harvest their undifferentiated cells is murder. [evil]

Some of us think that the assignment of souls (if such things even exist) doesn’t begin at the moment of conception, but rather sometime closer to birth. Under this system of beliefs, harvesting embryos is ok. [good]

Some of us aren’t sure about the whole 'when do we become people' thing, but believe that even if a sacrifice is being made, it is a sacrifice that is being made for the greater good. [end justifies the means]

So where am I going with all this?

We, as a nation, are in the process of deciding which of our many ethos’ will guide us in our legislation of this new technology.

If you want *what you believe is right* to happen, then speak up. Write your congressmen, your senators, your president. Tell them what *your* ethos is.

It’s only a republic if the citizens speak up…

All the better to...

2005-05-21T06:53:00.000-05:00

Off to grandma's today to celebrate her birthday.

My little nephew is excited because his grandpa (my dad) got him his first fishing pole!

Reckon we'll be going out to the farm for some fishin' after lunch.

Funny how things repeat themselves. Doesn't seem too long ago that *my* grandpa took me out to that same farm and taught me to fish in that same lake. I wonder if dad and Tony will bury the bluegills they catch in the garden like grandpa and I did: the same way the native americans did many years ago.

Ok. Maybe it's more comforting than funny.

Though its times like this that I miss *my* grandpa.

I'll have a chance to visit though... He's buried out there, too.

(NOT in the garden... That would have been a little too weird.)

Speaking of Sleep...

2005-05-20T16:38:00.000-05:00

Happy 200th Birthday, Morphine !

Curious morphine factoid:

Morphine research led to the development of heroin, promoted by Bayer Laboratories in 1898 as an analgesic and a "sedative for coughs." in 1898. It was named for its "heroic" ability to relieve pain. Production was halted in 1913, by which time Bayer was selling a new blockbuster called aspirin.

Check out the full story here

Not quite sure how to celebrate, though...

Easier, more seductive...

2005-05-19T15:06:00.000-05:00

Saw Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith

I will say three things about it.

1. The Force was strong with this one.

2. Total number of lines of idiotic dialogue: 0

3. I liked it so much, I was furious by the end.

Why furious? Because the acting, dialogue, and story were so good in this movie that I felt seriously cheated by Episodes I and II. Oh, well...

Standing on its own merits, though, it was a fine film that I recommend. A little dark, but that’s the idea!

(Nerd Note: Your questions *will* be answered…)

Somnambulance

2005-05-18T14:12:00.000-05:00

I *invented* the rhinocerous !

Ok, OK… maybe not… but I *am* really tired…

Last night was the second in a row in which I just could *not* get to sleep in a timely fashion. The sleep I did manage to get was low-quality and insufficient.

I get little bouts of insomnia from time to time, so I guess I’m due.

Must focus: Friend picked up midnight tickets for Star Wars tonight. Expectations irrationally high...

Maybe a nap is called for.

I’ll leave you with the only joke I ever created myself:

Q: How do you know when a mime is dead ?

A: He stops trying to get out of the box.

(and *that* is why I'm not a professional comic)

Boolean love

2005-05-17T15:02:00.000-05:00

Perhaps she’d heard the phrase so many times (or so few times) that it had no intrinsic meaning.

It didn’t help that I couldn’t really explain.

But it was the truth.
I didn’t love her *because*; because she was talented, intelligent, beautiful, passionate and quirky.
I didn’t love her *despite*; despite her self-destructive habits, emotional instability, and weird family situation.

While all of those things were true, none of them were the *reason*.

You see, there wasn’t one. The love I had for her was unconditional. The decision to love (if such a thing exists) had been made at an elemental level in my being, and I could no more *not* have loved her than I could have walked on water. In nerdspeak, it was a true Boolean expression: Yes or Not Yes. All or nothing.

I know it was unconditional.

I know, because after all these years, I still love her.

Nice out

2005-05-16T14:22:00.000-05:00

No blog madness today... it's 70 degrees and i'm spending the day outdoors.

I will share a favorite poem though:

Sail forth - steer for the deep waters only,
Reckless, O soul, exploring, I with thee and thou with me,
For we are bound where mariner has not yet dared to go,
And we will risk the ship, ourselves, and all.

- Walt Whitman

The Fork Incident

2005-05-15T16:48:00.000-05:00

Prompted by ‘Doom’, I shall now relate *this* story.

Though you may have to help me figure out what the moral of the story is.

There I was, working in that double-wide trailer of a restaurant. Being a traditional ‘80s thing, all the counters were staffed by the ladies, while the unwashed brutes were kept well out of sight in the background, slinging the meat and squirting the shakes.

I *so* had a crush on one of the counter girls. Though I was a senior in High School, it also happened to be true that I’d never even kissed a girl, let alone dated one, so you can imagine the suave methods I employed to let her know what I thought. I didn’t say a word. Well, not a meaningful one, anyways.

It also happened that one of my fellow male employees, a few years younger than I, lived just one block away from me. We’d had some dealings in the past, and I sort of classified him as a loudmouth punk. I believe he also had a crush of sorts on the said counter girl, and his methods of displaying affection ran to crude language and mild roughhousing (I was *so* much more refined… doing nothing).

He stabbed her with a meat fork.

I’m sure there was a long, possibly exculpating story behind it, but all I heard was a scream, spun around, and saw blood on her dress shirt. It turns out that it was, as they say, a ‘flesh wound’. Not really a big deal. However, my button had been *pushed*.

Give me a moment to digress and talk about my temperament. I do not have much of a temper at all. In fact, I have been criticized from time to time because of my unwillingness to embrace anger. I realize that anger is a powerful tool if properly applied, however, I internalize it instead of displaying it. That having been said, I do have one ‘panic button’. I realize it’s an old-fashioned sentiment, terribly outdated, but if you want to provoke me, all you have to do is physically threaten a female in my presence.

I snapped. I walked right over to that other kid, grabbed a double handful of his shirt, twisted to get a better grip, and picked him up off the floor. I marched him out the back of the trailer, set him down, and cocked my right arm back in preparation of driving it right through his head.

Everyone who piled out of the trailer waited breathlessly in a half-circle to see what would happen. In this case, the cliché was true. You could have heard a pin drop.

The thing that I really remember about this is the look in his eyes. For all his teen posturing, he was utterly terrified. I imagine that I must have startled him. The being that he had classified as a sheep had been suddenly and inexplicably transformed by rage and adrenalin into a predator. And a predator I was. He was momentarily helpless before me, and my muscles, singing with adrenalin, were screaming for release; righteous, vengeful release.

I didn’t hit him.

*Why* I didn’t hit him is kind of hard to remember. I do remember that my friend came up behind me and counseled me not to. That was probably it. He was (and still is) probably the only human being who, if he pointed to a live grenade in the middle of a crowded room and told me to jump on it, I would do so without hesitation, knowing that the only reason he’d tell me to do it was that he couldn’t get to it in time himself.

You could sense in the air that the moment of crisis had passed. The other kid’s eyes went back from borderline panic to his usual half-lidded contempt. He shoved me back and muttered some predictable obscenities. The onlookers slowly went back to their previous tasks.

So, having told my story, I’m not sure *what* the relevant moral or lesson is.

Keep your good friends close?
Master your anger or be its slave?
Meat fork impalement is a bad choice as a romantic gesture?

I do know that I glimpsed a side of myself that day that I was terrified of. I was about to *destroy* someone, and if I had started, I could not have stopped. I was hovering on the brink of surrendering my thinking mind to the reflex-driven caveman that dwells within each and every one of us. I’m not saying I would have murdered him, but he would have been broken in a whole lot of places. I would have been delivering righteous vengeance, so it would be *ok* that I was beating another human being senseless. It would have been, from a not-too-uncommon point of view, the *right thing to do*.

Having said that, and realizing the hypocritical implication, I’m not entirely sure I did the right thing by *not* hitting him. All these years later, I can still hear the ghosts of that adrenalin surge whisper to me when I tell the story. Did I do the right thing or the wrong thing?

I guess all I really do know is that a man is (at least partially) the sum of the decisions he’s made. Considering that, I guess i’m pretty satisfied.

Happy W Day!

2005-05-14T20:59:00.000-05:00

Here's how to do it, folks:

Wedding Ceremony : 15 minutes

Reception : 5 1/2 hours

It was a Luau-themed reception, so as well as many bright and obnoxious hawaiian shirts and roast pork (and a grass skirt or two), there was a chocolate fountain.

Yeah, *chocolate*. Like a champagne fountain, but with milk chocolate. Sort of a fondue on steroids. Complete with rice crispy squares, angel food cake tidbits, pretzels, and the such. Novel, tasty, and... indulgent !

Check it out!

Anyway, congratulations Kristin and Jason. It was definitely worth the wait. Here's hoping that as good as things are today, they will only get better as the days pass.

Digital Madness

2005-05-13T13:30:00.000-05:00

Le follow-up

I'm *so* sorry!

Yeah, science is cool, but you can’t reattach a body part that’s been off for a week!

I shall now tell my related story:

I was a senior in High School and went to work at the Steak&Shake at the Illinois State Fair (a buddy’s uncle ran the thing). Anyway, I was the ‘Shake Man’ (probably because I lacked the skills for anything more dangerous or crucial). Little did they know that I can make *any* job dangerous.

Seeing as it was at a State Fair, the ‘building’ was really kind of a double-wide mobile home. Not a lot of elbow room. Anyway, I was mixing a flavored shake, and someone bumped into me from behind. It was hot and there was plenty of condensation on the cup, so it slipped out of my hand. Like a moron, I tried to catch it, and instead of getting the cup, I got the spinning blades of the milkshake mixer.

Here is how luck works for me. Generally, I have kind of average to poor luck, but it seems that in really crucial situations, I *am* lucky.

Instead of grabbing the actual blades, I managed to get my thumb *between* the two sets of whirling blades, jamming the machine. Not a cut on me.

However, it did look dislocated, or at the very least, sprained, so off to the hospital I went. Now, it was a busy summer afternoon, so the hospital was kind of jammed. The nurse had me wait in an operating room, saying the doctor would be in as soon as he could.

As I looked around, it became obvious that I was in the ‘Limb-Reattachment Theater’. Rack upon rack of different sizes and grades of sterile sutures surrounded me. It was a little eerie.

The thing I will never forget is the poster on the wall. You know how they have those posters for things like ‘How to perform the Heimlich Maneuver’ with pastel monocolor people describing the processes? Well, in this room, there was a ‘What do you do with a severed hand?’ poster, complete with a little pastel pink severed hand… eww…

FYI, if you find yourself with a disembodied limb, wrap the member in gauze that has been soaked in saltwater. Place it in a Ziploc bag, and lay that on top of some ice in a cooler. Get it to the hospital ASAP.

This public service announcement has been provided by the tepidboy.

Mis-identification

2005-05-12T13:45:00.000-05:00

So in an uncharacteristic moment, I was feeling the desire for a fermented beverage the other night, and went out to the local liquor store for a case of beer. I put my intended purchase on the counter, and the girl behind the counter gave me a looking-over.

At this point, I will make it clear that I don't think I can pass for 18 anymore. Granted, it used to be a funny occurrence (I got carded at the age of 26 trying to get into an R-rated movie), but those days are, I believe, behind me.

So she says: "Can I see some ID, please?"

I whip out my wallet and paw through the area with the little plastic window, fish out a card and hand it to her. She scrutinizes it for a moment, then hands it back to me.

"Uhh... that's not a driver's licence... that's like... your Redneck License."

I had handed her my Firearms Owner License by mistake... oops.

Kudos to her for the one-liner though... made me laugh!

On a lighter note

2005-05-12T13:34:00.000-05:00

Everything is green!

That’s one of the cool things about Illinois. There’s farmland *everywhere*

I understand the majesty of the tundra, the desert, and even the ‘big city’, and maybe it’s just that it’s because this is where I grew up, but there’s nothing like that explosion of green that we get every time this year. Proof positive that life goes on, and there are new beginnings taking place all around us.

On the other hand, I did go out yesterday afternoon wearing shorts (‘cos it was about 83 degrees) and the temperature dropped 20 degrees in about an hour as ominous clouds and high winds tore in.

No tornado though! Yay!

I’ve gone mental

2005-05-11T14:06:00.000-05:00

Maybe, anyways…

Last week or so, I’ve been having rather vivid dreams, and actually remembering them. This is quite unusual for me. I hardly ever remember them. I must be having them, though, as I’m not *quite* psychotic…

Also, I can’t seem to stop thinking. Usually, it’s quiet in here from time to time, but recently, there always seems to be something zinging around. Not that it’s hard to concentrate or anything, but something is always popping into my head: poetry, memories, things to be done.

I’ve been a bit more emotional, as well. Not exactly a wildly-overreacting PMS kinda thing, but just ‘feeling’ more. When I see a tree, I actually *look* at it.

I notice these things, and wonder what’s going on.

Is it just that it’s springtime? Everything comes to life this time of year… Perhaps I am no exception.

Could it be that am I becoming more broken?

Or, more terrifyingly, *less* broken?

Thought du jour

2005-05-10T16:57:00.000-05:00

Of all the things
heard, done, or seen.
'Tis none so sad
as what might have been.

-Carpe Diem, folks !

Give him the finger!

2005-05-09T15:11:00.000-05:00

So this poor kid gets his finger cut off in a custard machine. Not knowing what is going on, a fellow employee serves up a cup of custard, complete with finger.

Now the ultra-stupid part of this is that when the customer discovered the severed digit, he *refused* to give it back. In cases like this, there’s an excellent chance that a body part can be re-attached if they can get it to the hospital within a half-hour or so.

Why did he refuse to give it back? Because he felt he’d lose his only evidence in what he envisioned as a mega-million dollar lawsuit against the hapless custard shop.

Come on, people!

Emotional distress, my ass! When I bite into an apple and discover that it’s got a half of a worm in it, I spit the damn thing out, no harm done. I don’t start figuring how much I can rob the grocery store for what is an *accident*.

You heard me, *Accident*!

Society seems to have forgotten that there are some things that are, by and large, beyond our control; subject to the vagaries of random events and chaos theory.

Not too many years ago, at the local university, a student got roaring drunk, and looking out her window, saw some friends leaving the building. Banging against the screen in an attempt to get their attention, she broke the screen and fell 18 stories. Fortunately, she passed out on the way down, and landed in a freshly-tilled flower bed, with only a broken arm and multiple bruises to show for it. End result: University sued for negligence for an undisclosed (7 million dollars) sum of money, and had to spend an additional 20 grand to put a sticker in every window of every dorm room saying : “Don’t lean on the screen, you might fall out.”

Where did this madness start? With a ladder, as I recall. Some doofus was standing tiptoe on the very top of a ladder, and fell off. Sued the ladder company because it didn’t warn him that he was being stupid, using their product in a manner it wasn’t intended to be used.

Sue, sue, sue... I imagine it'd stop if we saw some actual *justice* applied in these cases...

It’s too bad that Solomon won’t be sitting on the bench when the finger-hoarding bozo’s case comes to court:

Court finds for the plaintiff: Award one million dollars.
However, pursuant to your irrevocable harm of the person in question, you may only collect half the sum. And only if you chop your own finger off and give it to the injured party. Otherwise, the guy who lost the finger gets *all* the money, instead of half.
Choose wisely.
Court adjourned.

M-Day

2005-05-08T09:07:00.000-05:00

Thanks, ma !

You ceaseless efforts, care and attention all ensured that I didn't end up any weirder than I am!

Get outta town !

2005-05-07T02:01:00.000-05:00

I’ve been thinking that it’s been quite a few years since I took a traditional sort of vacation. While it could be argued that my entire life is nothing but an extended vacation, it doesn’t feel like it right now. I think I may well be stuck in a rut of sorts, and perhaps I need a change of scenery to put some life-type things in perspective.

I’m thinking that this might well be a zen sort of thing: Where I end up might not be as critical as the journey itself. The willingness to leave may be more important than the arrival.

So… where do y’all think I should go?